I wanted a man who could make my heart race, I wanted to belong to someone heart and soul. I want to be someone's true partner who's value lies not only in my body, but also in my mind and ambition.The thought that I would live my whole life and die in the same small town without really living devastated me, but I went through the motions that were expected of me even though it took a little piece of my soul as I did. Little did I know the adventure I had always been seeking was on its way. I might come to regret my lofty dreams and desire for more.
Chapter 1-
The sway of the ship no longer turned my stomach and for that I was thankful, the endless retching had drained me. The smell of yuck in the cabin had only perpetuated the problem. My main discomfort now was the biting cold stinging my limbs, and the freezing chains rubbing against my chaffed skin. My once smooth, soft skin has been repalced by red angry sores. Once the land was no longer visible from the ship they took the cuffs off of our hands, but they left the ones around our ankles. I guess they don’t want us to try jumping off the ship and testing our luck in the icy water. As if we would be that stupid, although who knows what’s waiting for us, maybe death would be better.
I know I have considered it a time or two and I'm not even the most desperate of our bunch. We had been aboard the ship for two weeks now and I had overheard the men saying we would be docking this afternoon. The fact that I was not alone was both comforting and devastating. I would never wish capture on another person, but if I was alone on this ship of terrifying men I probably would heave myself overboard chained or not.
Remembering the mens gleeful faces as they riped me from my family made me sick. They gathered together and reveled over their "great haul" We were a group of fifty-two, all women, with the youngest among us being sixteen and the oldest being thirty. We have all been held together in a large compartment on the ship. We had come from around the same area, what they wanted from us was still unknown. The large men seemed so eager to get us on the ship, the chance of esacpe growing smaller the farther we go. The horrible thoughts of what our new purpose is fills me with abject misery.
The ship itself wasn't horrible although the same couldn't be said of the way we had been treated so far. We are possesions and not people in the minds of these men. Just things to serve their unknown purpose. There are bunks lining the walls and a few tables set up in the middle of the space where we shared our two meager meals a day. It was far from comfortable, but since I assumed we were being taken to be made slaves it was much better than I expected, at least we were being fed and kept relatively warm.
We are permitted to leave our quarters but only once a day when the Commander
that’s what his group of I assume soldiers call him
comes down and gets us. We’re able to walk a small space on the deck and breath the fresh air, but only for about thirty minutes and then we are ushered back to our cabin. I hate going back down to the cabin, it makes me feel like a dog being kenneled. The air has grown significantly colder since we bordered making me think we have traveled far from my home that I was taken from. We had just had our harvest month before that horrible day I was taken by the men. When we are above deck I think about my family and how far they are from me. I can't even see land anymore. Long memories start to hit me.
There was nothing extraordinary about my existence before , my parents were farmers and made a simple honest living. They were loving and took good care of my siblings and I. I have an older borther Jonas who is happy with his simple life.
I also have a younger sister Anne who is everything I am lacking. Although we all work hard she puts me to shame,while my body is quite suited to farm work due to my stocky, athletic frame she is thin and graceful. Her hair is a lovely silky chestnut while mine is bright red and wildly curly. I'm not falsely humble while my sister is beautiful I know I am not ugly.
To be beautiful is considered this great blessing, but when I think about being beautiful it feels like a snare, one that traps women into docile domestic roles. I know there is nothing wrong with simple living or even being content in it, but I can't help but long for something more. My life on the farm is far from the adventure I seek. We wake up early in the morning to water and feed the livestock and plants, we pull weeds, harvested ripe fruits and vegetables, and work the land until the sky turns dark. We gathered firewood and made repairs, none of these things although useful brought me any joy. Nothing we toiled in brought us adventure, only sore hands and promise of tomorrow being exactly the same as today.
I have a fiance named Thomas. I have only interacted with him a few times and he proposed after only meeting me twice. While it's nice that he thinks so well of me, when he's near my heart feels dead. I doubt letting him crawl on top of me will set my heart on fire.
Now everything has changed. I'm on this ship without knowing where I'm going. I'm forced to start my "adventure”. Do they hate me now? Do they blame me for my brother’s death? Will they look for me? I wish I would have just listened, why did I have to be so stubborn? What will my life be now? What waits for us when we reach the shore?
I can't know these strange men's intentions, I'm sure they didn't take and chain a group of women for our benefit, but since none of them will speak to us other than to usher out commands I can only jump to the worst conclusions. I had always wanted adventure but now I think I was nothing but a childish fool. I should have taken comfort in my simple life like my siblings did. Even so I will not back down to these brutes of men, it will take more to break me than cold chains.
I can never give in.
