It was a family dinner as usual, my dad Silas was sitting at the main table, my brother Jayden was sitting next to me, across from him was my mom Charlotte, and across from me was nothing. Everyone was enjoying the food in front of them, and Mom had just asked each of them if they wanted a glass of red wine.
But I was the only one who declined. I was boringly picking at the steak on my plate with my fork, thinking about things, but my mind had already flown to a distant place beyond this dinner.
To be precise, I was in a quandary, a dilemma in front of me that I didn't want to do but had to do. My mom knew what I was thinking because she had looked up at me a hundred times and then she signaled with her eyes that I should not let my dad find out about my problem.
What was there to hide, dad he would know sooner or later because he was not only my dad, but also the Alpha of the pack I was in. I loved him, but I was also forced to submit to all his authority.
In the world of werewolves, there was a tradition that I might not be able to understand with this lifetime, and that was the hunting ceremony that every werewolf had to go through when they came of age.
Simply put, this ceremony lasted for three days and required the participation of all single adult werewolves in the world. We had to complete our first hunt in wolf form in this ceremony, and at the same time, we had to find our mate and then conduct a two-person team hunt to bond.
I owed my parents an apology, because as an Alpha's daughter, not only did I disagree with such a hasty decision on who my mate would be, but I actually had a huge resistance to the hunting ritual at the beginning.
I had gone to school, I had been educated, and I thought we had evolved over the centuries into our current modern image of wearing suits and gowns and carrying glasses of red wine, so I really couldn't understand why things that were clearly supposed to have been abandoned by the times had continued to be preserved and had become so-called traditions. And what was the point of such a tradition that had to be followed?
After the steak on my plate had been poked with holes, I finally stopped, and my eyes saw that my father had almost finished eating.
I felt the time had come and I gave my glass a gentle tap with my fork. At the verbal cue that Mom was already close to uttering, I spoke up against her admonition.
"Daddy, there's something I want to tell you."
"What is it, dear?" He put the newspaper he had just picked up back on the table and gazed at me while waiting for my question.
I gave Mom a quick glance and she frowned and closed her eyes before opening them again. She was staring at me as well now, her eyes summing up the full warning implied. The only person in the whole family was my goofy brother Jayden still chewing his steak.
"Dad, I don't want to go to the hunting ritual."
The words were like a bombshell, the kind expression on his face disappeared, his brow furrowed and he questioned me coldly with the majesty of a superior, "Do you know what you're saying, Beryl?"
The large dining room suddenly fell into silence at this majestic question, his pressure was so strong that the servants were standing against the wall, no one dared to move, and Jayden beside me also observed our father's face and put down the knife and fork in his hand.
"Beryl," he poked my waist with his elbow, a low exhortation.
But I side-stepped it, and now everyone at the table was looking at me, but my modus operandi had always been to choose a path and never look back to the end.
"I don't want to go on a hunt, my mate should have taken my time to find it, not just set it on the day when everyone smelled each other and decided to be together."
My voice was with some trembling, it certainly was not my dad I was afraid of, but I was afraid of our Alpha. His intimidation and control, inherited from Moon Goddess, was unleashed in an invisible way. This was the biggest disconnect between my dad and I. I sometimes couldn't tell in what capacity he was actually admonishing me.
Now, for example, hearing my answer, he raised his hand and slammed it on the table. The banging of plates and glasses on the table exploded in the dining room, shaking my eardrums.
"Beryl, do you know what you're questioning?"
The pressure had escaped and my nails embedded themselves in my flesh, forcing me to steady myself.
"I know, Dad." I still had the courage and strength to meet his gaze.
There was some approval in his eyes, but more than that, he was displeased with my questioning, "Our mate relationship is a blessing from Moon Goddess, an existence that every werewolf should be grateful for in their hearts, how dare you openly question the divine power of Moon Goddess, who has spoiled you into your current unruly state? "
I slowly lowered my head, my father was really still plying me with such a set of rhetoric, but I was serious and would prove my persistence to them with my actions. But how could I make him realize the seriousness of the problem?
As I was trying to figure out what to do, there was a quiet sigh from my mother, sitting diagonally across from me, who was both my mother and our Luna, and who was the second person in the room to have a say.
"I've lectured her, but I don't know who she's inherited her stubborn nature from, she's not going to back down at all."
I noticed Charlotte and Silas exchanging glances, both of whom probably didn't have much of a way to discipline their youngest daughter, who grew up in the doting care of the whole family. But despite this, I thought Dad would be convinced that tradition had a need to persist, and that he would have already decided that even if he used some harsh measures like house arrest, it would all be worth it if he could get his daughter on the right path.
I had expected all this because he had forced my brother and me to follow the so-called "right path" in the past.
" Moon Goddess is our supreme code," he said, as I expected, and gave me a serious final judgment, "Forget what you saw when you were at school outside, Beryl. You are a werewolf, and that means you have to act according to the werewolf tradition. There is no room for discussion on this matter, and I want you to have an enjoyable hunting ritual, not let me force you to."
I put down my fork, that was it for today's efforts, Dad had personally declared my defeat.
"You know we love you, Beryl."
Mom said from behind me as I stood up and walked toward the restaurant door.
"I know," I paused, " you guys love the me who can follow tradition."
I didn't go back to my bedroom, and I ran out. I felt like everything here was taking my breath away, and I wanted to run free, and I wanted to be the master of my life.
I really did, because my wolf felt the same way. I transformed into the form of a wolf and felt the wind with her in the wonderful wind between the mountains and the wilderness. Her name was Tefnut, and we were one and felt the same, and she was my only good friend who understood my heart.
She was also a very special being. Our fur was white, but reflected a blue glow in the sun. Such a color was very special because my mother's wolf had golden fur, my father's wolf was black, and my brother's wolf's fur was dark gray. Although it was not a fixed rule, the color of children's fur would be similar to their parents' in most cases, but I was that kind of an exception. Not only that, my wolf's size was larger than the other female wolves, and could easily fight any male alpha wolf's size alone.
Because my wolf was so special, I could always feel the difference between me and others. Now was a more peaceful time, there were not so many frequent wars that required warriors to die for the pack, so the first thing I felt was that I was an alien and my specialness did not serve any purpose, but it rather hindered me from getting close to others. But what I hated was that I had nowhere to play my specialness, not that I hated Tefnut, and I had always been proud of my wolf.
So until now, the only people who had seen me in my wolf form were my parents and brother. My dad once had high hopes for me because of my specialness, he thought I should be Luna level even if I didn't become an Alpha.
I was not averse to power, but I didn't want to deliberately pursue it. Like this hunting ritual, we would stay in different areas of the room sorted by rank, and the females would be taken away after leaving a scent where they lived, providing a space for the males to sense the presence of mate with their sense of smell.
There were many more problems with this. To be honest I didn't believe in this method of smelling to find mate at all, let's imagine: I had never even met the man, but he happened to be a single werewolf in the same group as me. He just discerned my smell among many other smells, maybe he just thought this smell was better than others and chose me like a perfume, but I could only believe what he said and became his mate just like that?
What a ridiculous thing to do!
I didn't believe that Moon Goddess bestowed mutual attraction on each mate, and I had been an adult for so long, why would I not feel anything?
My mom's account of her encounter with my dad was not a pretty account either, and there was no specific narrative about attraction in it, instead I thought they were able to come together all because of my dad's unilateral efforts.
He said he smelled mate, who can guarantee that he just picked a perfume smell that he liked?
If the attraction was not proven, the kind of person my mate would be also became an unstable factor. I hated alcoholics and I hated skinny men, if the end result was that such a person became my mate, I hoped they would beat me, otherwise they would wait to be pinned down by me. They would be on their knees begging me to dissolve the mate relationship.
