" You comfortable ? " His deep voice was tickling my ears .
I said nothing but obeyed his commands .
He was slowly pushing me against the wall . He grabbed my two arms so tightly that my arms felt numb . I looked straight into his eyes .
There I saw nothing but the duty to follow . There was no warmth , there was no compassion , no love towards me ,,,, It was like he had to complete his task hurriedly and had to return to his den as soon as the "task" was done .
He tried to kiss me all of a sudden .
I pulled my head back .
" Not today , Mr.Alexander . I'm not feeling so fine . " I said meekly , trying to hide my deep breathe and tears from my eyes .
" Are you sick ? " He touched my face with his warm hand .
I shivered a little by his touch though it was not new for me . I have to keep him company for a few days in every lunar month cycle when I am more fertile and can bear the seed of him within me ... though I like it or not ... It's just a duty that he and I must follow ... we must follow it to protect our clan , we must follow it to stop any other blood sheds that had been going between our clans through centuries . We must stop it,no matter he likes me or not ...
" Okay , I'll be in my chamber hall . You take rest . I'll inform Mrs. Dora to make you some warm soup . "
And there he rushed again,not even looking back to me or saying something to comfort me .
I kept staring at his shadow as long as it could be seen from my chamber hall . Then I burst out crying .
What did I do to deserve something like this ? What did I do to sacrifice myself like this ? My love , my soul , my everything! I have become so empty inside , so numb inside that I don't feel either pain or sorrow these days . His smell , his smile , his everything cannot make my heart feel suffer from pain anymore .
I looked outside the window .
How warm the moonlight was feeling from inside my hollow heart ! And there I saw him , standing with the love of his life under the bright moon . He was walking arm in arm with his love , he was holding her arms tenderly like it was a flower to him to cherish . They stopped suddenly near the dungeon . And then they kissed each other .
I could see no more and broke into tears on my bed . I know he doesn't love me , I know ,,,, For him , I'm just a duty to follow , nothing else . Nothing at all !
I could feel the warmth of their love when they were looking at each other under the moon . If he could give just a little bit of it to me , I could have given him my life . I'm his abandoned Luna that he doesn't love or even care for .
" Good morning . How's your headache ? "
The next morning I went downstairs to have breakfast and saw him sitting there in the hall with a perfect smile on his face .
" I'm okay . But I didn't mention that I had a headache . " I said coldly looking directly into his eyes .
He seemed kind of awkward .
" Mrs.Dora ! " He asked the maid , trying to hide the topic at once .
" So where is Lucia ? Can't see her here . " I asked him with mockery in my voice that I couldn't resist to show him . He looked at me . He opened his mouth to say something when I heard footsteps at the stairs .
Lucia was in her nightgown still . Standing at the staircase and yawning .
" You up already ? " She said to Alexander .
By looking at her appearance , one could clearly see that they had quite a rough night last night . At least she could have taken a shower before coming here !
I couldn't think anymore . There was something burning inside my throat that I couldn't stand the sight . I looked at him . He seemed quite calm like always , like nothing had happened . What was I thinking ? He doesn't even care for me . It's okay for him to have affair with his mistress right in front of my eyes and I don't even have anything to say to them at all . I don't have any right in his life . I'm like a nobody to him .
" Why don't you take a shower ? " I told her . " Mr. Alexander is waiting for you since morning . "
I tried to calm my voice .
She walked towards the table and bend over in front of Alexander . She kissed him in his cheek right in front of me as if tried to show me the right owner of this palace , the right owner of his heart and body and everything that is mine just in names . Alexander kissed her back .
" You need to shower , baby ! You reek of sweat . " How brazenly he held her tight in his arms right in front of me !
He didn't even care that I was sitting right next to him !
After the breakfast when I returned to my chamber hall , Mrs.Dora came to my chamber with a bowl of juice from the wild flowers that has the property to make me more fertile .
" Here it is , my lady . " She handed me over the bowl .
" What's the point , Mrs.Dora . " I said reluctantly but sipped from it .
" Master shouldn't have behaved like this with you . " Mrs.Dora said to me while nodding her head .
" And you shouldn't let your position down in his palace my lady . You shouldn't let miss Lucia take over him . We all know , she has no right to be here in the palace . You are the chosen one for my master . You have to be strong my lady ! And bear a child soon ! Then everything will be fine , you'll see ! The war between your clan and ours must end by this ! " She patted my head gently .
She was like a mother to me since I became captivated here . She understands me so well and I can share everything with her like my mother . But I can't share one thing ... The reason why I can't bear his child within me .....
" It's okay Mrs.Dora . You may go to your room . I'll ask you when I need something . "
I went to the balcony to have some fresh air .
I heard the noise of my bedroom door closing behind me .
" What do you want ? " I said sharply as I saw him entering my room .
" What's wrong with you ? " He Asked Me with a deep voice .
I saw him coming towards me slowly .
" we both know what's going on and you know your position clearly . Why are you trying to change yourself recently I don't understand . " He said calmly .
" You know what ? " I said to him directly looking at his face which were burning red as well his eyes . What's wrong ? Was he drinking straight in this morning ? He usually doesn't do that . That could be the reason why he had entered my chamber this odd time .
" Aren't you going to the ministry ? " I asked him with confusion as I was not sure what was he thinking about . He was trembling a little .
" Are you alright , Alexander ? " I asked him warmly .
He looked at me suddenly and grabbed my wrists so tightly that I felt it could break at once . He pressed me against the wall and grabbed my hair . I had no way to move on either side as I was captivated in his fists .
" What are you doing ? " I screamed with pain .
" Shut up ! " He let out a growl . I was so terrified to hear his voice . It was so cold that I have never heard it before .
" Your father is behind all this ! He has killed everyone in my family ! And what do you expect from me , love ? " He screamed and threw me into my bed .
" You are drunk ! " I screamed .
He took off his shirts and jumped over me . I was pressed against his burning hot body on my bed . I tried to move him away but couldn't .
" You can never escape from me , never ever ! " He whispered to my ears and tried to undress me hastily with his trembling hands . I tried to throw him away but he grabbed my two wrists in one of his fists so tightly that I could only writhe in pain under his naked masculine body .
Suddenly he fell over my chest .
I quickly moved under him as he got faint .
" Mr.Dennis! " I went downstairs to look for someone .
" Your master is sick . " I told him everything .
" I'm sorry my lady . He was drinking heavily this morning . I tried so hard to stop him but I couldn't. It's all my fault . " He bowed his head as he was explaining the situation . " After all , today's the death anniversary of his father . "
I got silence for a bit .
" it's ok . Take him to his room . "
" Thank you my lady . Master also told me that he'll spend tonight in your chamber . " He bowed and left after a while .
So I have to prepare myself tonight again for him ? I laughed at the news .
So no matter how much he hates me , he has to come back to me at night and beg me for the offspring that only I can give him . Only I can stop the blood sheds . Not the love of his life !
I laughed hysterically all of a sudden and looked at the tiny perfume bottle on my desk .
I walked slowly towards it and grabbed it on my fist . The little blue bottle contains something that only I know . It's my secret weapon to fight in this castle alone , my only revenge that I can take against him . And it's my only way to .... to reach his heart in which I'll give so much pain one day that he'll writhe in pain just like me !
I placed it cautiously where it belonged and went to the dressing room .
